Monday, November 26, 2012

On Happily Ever Afters (Or, The Self-Rescuing Princess)

I try not to argue with people. It's not fun for me. This is not to say that I'm incapable of holding my own, but in my experience, even the friendliest and most well-intended of arguments ends up escalating until everyone's mad and has to settle into at least half an hour of wildly uncomfortable silence. Party on.

No, I prefer to engage in what is called a, "spirited discussion." These are scenarios in which everyone can come to the table with an open mind and throw out their thoughts on a particular subject with the understanding that they can express their opinions and listen to others without the aim of proving themselves right and/or maintaining that others are wrong.

Every once in awhile, I end up getting into a, "spirited discussion," about the message of Disney princesses - not regularly, mind, but often enough that I wanted to take a minute to put my point of view down in writing.

Now, I understand the negative opinions. I really do. Disney princesses are a very specific animated representation of a potentially damaging physical ideal. There are none who look like me, who have my body type or glasses or shorter hair. This didn't bother me when I was little, but that may have been because I was too busy pretending to be each iteration of prince. They got the swords and the horses and, most important of all, the pants. For the record, that was not a euphemism - I truly was drawn to the fact that they literally got to wear pants. 

And that sucks. It sucks that the girls never got the swords, that the curvy characters were always relegated to comic relief, that stepparents were automatically evil and prone to turning into crazy witches and big ass dragons. Plus, apples already had to bear the brunt of biblical slander before the poison thing got thrown on them as well. I mean, come on.

But it's not all bad. Now that I'm older, I have a much better relationship with the princesses that I spent most of my childhood ignoring. At this point, having given (probably too much) thought to the matter, I'd even go so far as to say that a lot of the labels Disney princesses and their tales get slapped with are kind of unfair.  Let's take a look at a few.

1) The Dress - Argument: The girl isn't valued until she undergoes a total physical transformation.
Now, yes, after Cinderella, the, "makeover," became kind of a staple of the princess movie. However, it's just one moment out of an entire movie, and - if you really think about it - often has very little to do with how anybody (particularly the prince) feels about the girl in question. Snow White wears the same outfit the whole time. Cinderella technically needs to transform in order to gain entry into the ball where she first meets her prince. For him, it's just how she looks the first time he sees her, and while he loves her then, one must assume that he also loves her in rags later, as that's how she appears when they find her. Aurora, Belle, Rapunzel - they all meet their eventual princes when they're wearing, "street clothes." Ariel and Eric actually have kind of a lengthy courtship that involves a lot of looks. So sure, the makeovers are cool, but ultimately not all that important.

2) The Prince - Argument: Girls are taught that life blows unless you can find a rich hot dude to save you and marry you. On the surface, yes. Girl has tough life, girl meets boy, boy tends to swoop in during a perilous moment, boom - wedding bells. But there's so much that happens in between. Note that pretty much all of the princess movies are named after the girl. Hell, two of the princes weren't even granted proper names. Yes, it's usually the dude who gets to ride in and slay the dragon, and that looks really cool, but again, it's a single moment in a bigger story. Not only that, it's a moment that usually follows a series of difficult and sometimes painful decisions on the part of the princess. Which brings me to...

3) The Attitude - Argument: Princesses are helpless waifs whose only job is to look pretty and wait to be rescued. Now, I know I said I don't do the arguing thing because I don't see the value in everyone getting mad for no reason, but this particular point is the one that actually kind of ticks me off, because it takes a complex story and unfairly oversimplifies it. Yeah, you can take the one-sided approach to things. Snow White and Cinderella do a lot of housekeeping, Aurora was a dumbass for shoving her hand onto a needle, Ariel looked super cray brushing her hair with a fork, Jasmine was angry at life for like half the movie. But give credit where credit is due.

Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora lived parentless lives full of crazy bitches who were trying to murder them and/or abuse them into submission, and in spite of this chose to turn away from fear and anger and be positive, kindhearted people who still dared to dream and to believe in the power of love. Granted, Aurora was raised by three awesome fairies and was largely unaware of the plot to kill her in her teens (which seems like an error in judgment, but whatever), so this was probably less difficult for her, but still.

Ariel abandoned everything and everyone she knew, not just for a boy, but to try and find her place in the world. It's a fiercely independent move.

Belle repeatedly rebuffed the affections of the town hottie, not just because he also happened to be the town douchebag, but because she didn't love him, and marriage without love was not an option. She also willingly sacrificed her freedom to save her father, agreeing to what she thought was a lifetime of solitude in a tower cell. That she got to stay in a fancy room and would eventually end up falling in love with the warden doesn't negate the power of that sacrifice. And while her prince makes a noble gesture in an effort to save her, it's Belle's ability to see past the surface and into the heart that ends up saving him. Plus, to top it all off, she reads. A lot.

The list goes on, and it's full of things like that. So yes, the swords and horses and dragons are all very fancy, but it's the acts that precede the big finale that are often the most courageous. As people, all these princesses embrace the opportunity to rescue themselves long before true love's kiss comes into play. That's what I tell the kids in my life, and should I ever have children of my own, I'll say it to them too.

Look, here's the thing. I believe, unshakably and wholeheartedly, in magic. I see it at work everyday, and have been fortunate enough to help make it on occasion. I believe in love, in all its forms, as the ultimate strength and the furthest thing from a weakness. I believe that finding a partner who is kind and noble and respectful is a reasonable requirement, not an unrealistic expectation. And I believe that there is no naivete involved in striving for a happy ending.

No spirited discussion will ever convince me otherwise.


Friday, October 5, 2012

On Registration Deadlines (Or, Please Vote, For the Love of...)

The minute I turned 18, I went online and printed out a voter registration form. I don't make a habit of discussing politics with most people (especially on the internet), mostly because, in my experience, it just leads to a bunch of pissed off self-righteousness (we're all guilty of it sometimes) that doesn't really get counterbalanced by patient listening. However, I have no problem saying that I think it's incredibly important to educate yourself about what's happening in your state, country, and the world at large. As a citizen of a democracy, it's equally important to exercise your right to vote.

Registration deadlines for those eligible to vote in the upcoming election are fast approaching - some are as soon as tomorrow. Check the list and get your forms in!

Deadline: October 6, 2012
Alaska, Hawaii, Mississippi, Nevada, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Washington (state)

Deadline: October 9, 2012
Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Montana, New Mexico, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Texas, Utah, Washington D.C.

Deadline: October 10, 2012
Missouri

Deadline: October 12, 2012
Idaho, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma

Deadline: October 13, 2012
Delaware

Deadline: October 15, 2012
Virginia

Deadline: October 16, 2012
Kansas, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, New Jersey, Oregon, West Virginia

Deadline: October 17, 2012
Massachusetts, Wisconsin

Deadline: October 19, 2012
Nebraska

Deadline: October 22, 2012
California, Iowa, South Dakota, Wyoming

Deadline: October 23, 2012
Connecticut

Deadline: October 26, 2012
Alabama

Deadline: October 31, 2012
Vermont

Monday, July 23, 2012

On Rising Above.

Bullshit things happen sometimes, if you'll pardon my use of the word. But really, how else would you describe it? "Terrible," just doesn't seem like a strong enough term when an idiot with too much money and time on his hands can stockpile an arsenal, walk into a place of joy and either end lives or forever alter them. No, I'm sorry, but the senseless destruction of innocence is nothing short of complete and utter bullshit.

The next few weeks will be devoted to trying to find out what motivated the Colorado theater shooter (I won't be speaking his name here or anywhere else). News cycles will dissect every detail to the point of exhaustion. Weeks will turn into months, months into years. Books will be written by experts trying to understand the unfathomable, to attach a motive to the tragedy and saturate it with meaning so that it can be wrapped up and shelved and we can all go back to sleeping easy until the next bullshit thing happens.

Because it will happen. In one form or another, on scales large and small, bullshit things will keep happening in the world. And that's infuriating.

It's infuriating that the automatic response of so many people in the wake of gun violence is to raise their rifles above their heads and shout about how more shooting is the only thing that will solve the problem of shooting.

It's infuriating that while the technology to build better bombs, laptops, and cell phones is light years ahead of its time, cancer and AIDS remain incurable enigmas.

It's infuriating that major organizations contribute literally millions of dollars to groups that willfully endorse discrimination and can classify the act as, "charitable."

It's infuriating that Sally Ride, who sadly passed away today, is remembered in death by the president of the United States as, "a national hero and a powerful role model," while her government rewarded her heroism by denying her the right to marry her partner of 27 years in life.

The list goes on, doesn't it? Bullshit things that are so enraging, so unspeakable, that sometimes I am literally choked with anger so potent that I just want to yell at pretty much anything and everything.

But I don't. I won't. It wouldn't accomplish anything, wouldn't even make me feel better. Even the most righteous of anger twists and turns and boils into something wrong if you indulge it too much.

The only thing that lets you rise above the bullshit is living.

That's the secret, the thing that nobody really tells you. The purveyors of bullshit generally seem to think that all that matters is winning - killers kill, haters hate, liars lie, and they all feel like they've succeeded at the end of the day. But they're wrong. The ultimate fuck you (pardon the word) to all of the bullshit is to choose to get up each morning, live the hell out of the day, and go to bed so you can do it all over again.

Be joyful. Be honest. Be kind. Be awesome.

Live. Because even if you're robbed of tomorrow, nothing can stop your today.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

On the Culture of Shame (Or, Suck it, Joel Stein)

Joel Stein is a massive tool.

Okay, let's back it up.

I'm a firm believer in fully immersing yourself in whatever makes you happy (unless what makes you happy is a mountain of cocaine or something, in which case I urge you to rent Scarface and really pay attention to it - particularly the end, as I feel a lot of people kind of miss the point). Like plenty of others, I was a nerd before being a nerd was a thing, and hiding it never really occurred to me. I grew up unabashedly rocking a Millennium Falcon t-shirt, running to the library for Star Trek novels, and rushing to watch X-Men and Spider-Man every Saturday morning without a second thought - not because I was making some kind of a statement, but because these were the things that I enjoyed. When other people couldn't relate to what I was talking about, it didn't make me feel different. Really, it only made me more determined to explain it correctly. When I got made fun of (and even beat up a little), I figured it was not so much due to my love of sci-fi as it was that other people were jerks and I was a shy kid who didn't like confrontation. While that didn't really make the insults sting any less, it also never dampened my enthusiasm. The things I watched and read carried me beyond the schoolyard, helped me connect with some of my very best friends, and even nudged me down my current career path.

So, you see, it bugs me when people arbitrarily dismiss entire art forms. And now we've arrived back at Mr. Stein (bet you thought I forgot).

Let me start by editing my initial statement. I don't know Joel Stein. As far as I know, we've never even occupied the same airspace, unless you count living on the same planet and possibly being in the same state on occasion. Since I have a standing policy to at least try not to rush to judgment, I can't in fairness say that he is a massive tool. He just comes across as one.

On March 29, the New York Times published this opinion piece: Adults Should Read Adult Books. Take a minute to follow the link and read it, 'cause it's really going to help you understand the rest of this.

The post was calculated, given that this was less than a week after the film adaptation of Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games lit up the box office, where it continues to reign uncontested. Just to put things in perspective, last week's second place finisher was Wrath of the Titans, which made over $20 million dollars less than The Hunger Games, despite the boost from pricier 3D tickets and the fact that the latter film was in its second weekend.

I'm ecstatic about the success of The Hunger Games, which I consider to be one of the best - if not the best - film adaptations of a book I've ever seen. I'm even happier that more people are going out and picking up the books as a result.

Now, I have a slight bias in that I'm a big believer in Young Adult literature. I read it, I write it, and I'd teach classes on it if somebody was ever crazy enough to offer me money to do so. I think the YA genre is experiencing a true golden age at this very moment, with smart and skilled authors telling powerful and nuanced stories that are relevant to anybody who is or ever has been not just a teenager but a living, breathing member of society. Is every YA book a gem? No. But last I checked, all adult authors weren't exactly card-carrying MENSA members either (and even if they were, that doesn't mean they'd be able to write worth a damn).

Unlike Joel Stein, who places great stock in labels, I'm a fan of content. Period. I don't care how a book is classified - if I can understand it and it's compelling, I'm in. Same goes for movies, television shows, art exhibits, and whatever else. I like something because when I'm in the process of consuming it, my brain sends a signal that is the polar opposite of the one it would send if, say, a grizzly bear was chewing on my arm. That's how it should be, right?

The sad thing is, this idea of genre or classification automatically making content less worthy is nothing new. Stein published a piece for the L.A. Times back in 2005 essentially calling all adult Harry Potter fans, "morons." Seriously. Go read the lovingly titled, Hogwarts fans, you're stupid, stupid, stupid if you don't believe me.

The best part? Stein hasn't touched a single one of the books he's indicting, yet feels perfectly secure demeaning the intelligence of those who have entirely on the basis of a label.

This, dear readers, is what really bothers me the most - the name calling. The bullying. The verbal ostracism of an entire group of people without any concrete justification. If he'd read the book and said, "Hey, I think this is dumb because of X, Y, Z," I'd be able to respect his opinion more, even though I'd still disagree with it. However, this propagation of, "Shame on You," culture is nothing more than narrow-minded snobbery. Worse, it can steer people, young and old, who are searching for inspiration and identity toward self-loathing, and that's just not fair.

Books - be they classified as young adult or otherwise - change lives, even save them. I've seen it. I've experienced it. Yes, just as 7 year-old me would have unhesitatingly declared that nothing in the world was cooler than Star Trek, I have absolutely no problem stating (at the age of 25, if we need a reminder) that no book series will ever mean quite as much to me as Harry Potter and The Hunger Games. Both came into my life at very different times and mean very different things to me, but I have never been so profoundly affected by something I've read - not before, not since. And believe me, after studying literature and writing on more than one continent, I've read a lot. Does that make me stupid?

According to Joel Stein, yes.

Fortunately, I don't give a damn.

And that's really the point of me saying all of this. In the grand scheme of things, Joel Stein is a kid in the schoolyard, hiding behind the word, "columnist," and throwing stones. There's no point in calling him out on it, no matter how annoying it is (and even though I kind of already did). Really, the best way to deal with the Joel Steins of the world is to just live your life, do what you want to do, and refuse to take any crap for it. Read your books, wear your t-shirts, get engaged at Disneyland. Hell, go see your sparkly vampire movies. Just because it's not for me doesn't mean you can't like it.

Believe me, the only person who will feel embarrassed for you is Joel Stein, and you'll be way too busy with your happiness to notice.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

On Kony 2012 (Or, Awareness as Power)

I flipped back and forth on whether I was going to say anything or not. Here I am, so we can all probably guess what I decided.

I became involved with Invisible Children when I was in college after a screening of the documentary. It was the first time the issue of the LRA was clearly and effectively brought to my attention, and once you have that kind of information, you can't ignore it.

In the last 24 hours, a half-hour video narrated by Invisible Children co-founder Jason Russell has quickly gone viral. An extremely condensed version of the violence in Uganda and beyond, the video calls on the global community to make LRA leader and indicted war criminal Joseph Kony "famous," an action meant to condemn rather than celebrate.

In the wake of the video, there's been a prominent backlash. Arguments against the, "Kony 2012," video range from the intelligent to the cynical, and I won't be addressing all of them here. What I will say is that it's incredibly important to thoroughly educate yourself about any issue or organization you support, because propaganda - be it positive or negative - is designed to draw you in. However, I think it's important to remember that research does not end at statistics. Talk to as many people as you can, get an idea of how and why things operate, then make your decision. No matter what the issue, there will always be people who both agree and disagree with you. Ultimately, you need to rely on the strength of your own knowledge.

The, "Kony 2012," campaign was created by Invisible Children, but it is not directly about the organization and while it promotes donation, it does not demand it or even highlight it. "Kony 2012," is about awareness. It's about taking a regional evil and placing it on a global stage. Many have argued that Joseph Kony and the LRA are already well known enough. Respectfully, I disagree. The overwhelming number of people who have reposted the video with the comment, "I can't believe I did not know about this," contradicts that.

A half-hour video can't give you all the specific details of a complex issue. A three hour video still wouldn't be able to hold all that information. Again, I encourage you to educate yourself. Many of the details that critics say are not highlighted in the Kony 2012 spot are easily accessible, both on the Invisible Children web site and elsewhere.

Will bringing in Joseph Kony, dead or alive, immediately solve the problem of the LRA? No. There is no quick fix - capturing terrorists doesn't stop terrorism, AIDS walks don't cure AIDS, feeding the homeless doesn't eliminate poverty - but nobody can argue that these things are not good, that they're not important steps toward an ultimate goal.

Is December 31, 2012 an arbitrary date? Yes. It has wisely been pointed out that issues like this are often marathons, not sprints. It will be just as important to focus on Kony, the LRA, and other organizations that are purely and undeniably evil on January 1, 2013 or 2023 or however long it takes to disarm and dismantle them. In truth, many will not be paying attention. By next week, more than half the people who are reposting the Kony link will be focused on something else. But for every five people who stop talking about it, there will probably be at least one who is now in it for the long haul, who saw the video, got educated, and got involved. That is a victory.

I made a choice years ago to believe in Invisible Children. I made a choice to believe that evil could be stopped, even if it takes decades. I stand by that now, and I support saying, "This is a thing that is wrong. Let's do what we can to stop it." Dismiss me as naive or overly idealistic or flat out wrong if you'd like, but find an action you can believe in after you do.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Still Watching the Watchmen? (Or, My Best Gatsby Metaphor Ever)

Big news hit recently, if you're a comic book nerd. Even if you're not, it may have worked its way onto your radar. DC Comics unveiled its plan to release a series of comics featuring the characters of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' award winning classic, Watchmen. All indications are that the line will function as a prequel to the bestselling story. It's a buzzworthy announcement. It's also, in my opinion, a mistake.

When I originally started drafting this post the morning of the announcement, I got really technical about all the details of Alan Moore's contract with DC and how the terms of said contract led to their pretty public and messy falling out. Then I realized that this was a big waste of my time and yours, precisely because it was pretty public (and did I mention messy?). So I'm going to operate under the assumption that we all know what happened and go from there. If need be, just go over to Wikipedia and search Alan Moore, or even just Watchmen, and you'll be able to get a decent summary of things.

Watchmen was a groundbreaking work when it was originally released in the 80's and is still viewed as a masterpiece today, often appearing on lists of the greatest novels ever written - a particularly impressive feat for a graphic novel in an age when comics in general are still widely regarded as below second class literature. Before there was any bad blood with the company, prequel and spinoff ideas were discussed, with neither Moore nor artist Dave Gibbons feeling very strongly about any of the projects. When the subject of other writers and artists taking a run with the characters came up, Moore was very vocal about his opposition.

And that, right there, is what irked me the most about DC's announcement: this Before Watchmen prequel project is in direct opposition to the creator's wishes. Moore is a bit of a polarizing figure - brilliant and bitter all at once - but however one feels about the man, it cannot be denied that Watchmen and its characters are his.

Now, what about Gibbons? The artist is every bit as important as the writer, and he's given the prequels his blessing, having remained on better terms with DC over the years. Supporting something that Alan Moore is against does not make Dave Gibbons wrong. However, the support of one of two creators does not stop this whole situation from feeling off. It's as if DC is saying, "Well, we know you don't want us to do this, but we're going to anyway, just because we can," and that doesn't sit well with me.

Am I saying that everybody involved with the project is evil and unethical? Absolutely not. Some very talented people whose work I respect very much are on board, and I will continue to respect them regardless.

However, let's ignore all of that for a moment. Let's say that all the creators and businessmen were BFFs and thought this was a wonderful idea. Ask yourself this: Does there really need to be more?

It almost seems like a stupid question. After all, it's human nature to want more of the things you love. But it's also undeniable that sometimes less is more. As a devoted Watchmen fan, I can honestly say that I don't need, or even really want, to see more of those characters, because the story we got was strong enough to stand on its own. There's something special about only having brief glimpses of what life was like for them in the past based on flashbacks and contextual clues, and being able to imagine the rest for yourself.

The best example of less being more that I can think of is Star Wars. That the film series started with Episode IV in big, bold print, immediately implying a rich history that we did not - and might not ever - know was exciting. The agony of only getting passing references to the Clone Wars and the fall of the Jedi was a secret thrill, especially because it let us know that a whole world existed outside of what we were being allowed to see. The prequel trilogy was destined to be the Daisy Buchanan of Star Wars nerds because that story could never, ever have lived up to what had been imagined for decades.

Sometimes a great story needs to be allowed to stand on its own, for the sake of the reader as much as for the artistic integrity of that story.

So, in case you hadn't guessed, I won't be picking up the prequels. It's a personal choice, one that certainly won't affect DC's bottom line for what will most assuredly be a financially successful project. I can't, in good conscience, as a writer who would feel violated if somebody co-opted my characters. I won't, as a reader who feels that she has already been given the ideal experience.

In the spirit of ending things on a light note, check out this classic from 2009 that, in spite of everything I just said, made us all wish for more Rorschach:

Friday, January 20, 2012

And Then It Was 2012... (Or, Right Now)

Oh, heeeeeey, guys.

Remember that time I started a project about holiday specials, planned on queuing up a bunch of posts so that it would keep going while I was on vacation, then gave up and went to Disneyland, after which I didn't say anything at all for a month?

Me neither.

On a completely unrelated note, I love Disneyland. A lot.

Anyway, my prolonged absence has spared you from having to read the usual occasionally reflective, more than occasionally self-indulgent thoughts on the state of my life, because we're more than halfway through January now and that would be so 2011. That's right, kids. It's a whole new year.

Do allow me just a moment, however, to acknowledge the year that was. 2011 was the first year I fully carried the, "Go Out and Do Stuff, Jerk," banner. It worked in my favor. Tremendously. If an opportunity to do something really cool presented itself to me, I took it. I stretched my finances, stepped out of my comfort zone, traveled, stayed local, went out alone, went out with friends old and new, and said yes a lot more than no. 2011 was about having adventures and giving myself stories to tell. Mission accomplished.

Operation: Go Out and Do Stuff, Jerk was so successful, in fact, that I have continued carrying that banner into 2012. Stay tuned.

Okay. Moment over.

So, here's the thing: I've never really had nails. I have a nervous habit instead. Last year, I firmly resolved to leave my hands alone and grow those fools out for pretty much the first time ever. Close to a week passed before a combination of stress and compulsion ended that dream.

But it's 2012 now, guys. The dream has been reborn.

My reason for setting this goal (again) is two-fold: 1) I hit the big 2-5. It's now completely undeniable that I'm kind of a grown-up, albeit the kind that is surrounded by toys and lights and all the other things lesser grown-ups envy. It's time to accept that having real people nails would probably lend me a little bit of street cred in the adult world. 2) The self-awareness involved in not absent-mindedly putting your fingers in your mouth or fussing with them in your lap is probably something I should have. Or whatever.

Oh, wait. The reason is three-fold: OPI put out a line of Muppet nail polishes, and they're kind of fun.

Yup. I said, "nail polish," and, "fun," in the same sentence (a sentence that did not contain the word, "destroy," at all, I might add). Disney's pretty crafty, getting in my head like that. It's almost as good as that time Benefit tricked/shamed me into buying a bunch of makeup, thus forcing me into figuring out how to wear it.

But come on. The wee mini ones are called Muppettes. That alone is a little irresistible.

Anyway, it's day 3, and these paws are starting to improve. I've white-knuckled it a little at times, by I remain optimistic.

2012. It's going to be my year.