Thursday, August 29, 2013

On Replacements (Or, That Time I Almost Blew Up My Food Processor)

This could be about how The Replacements totally reunited in Canada, which I'm very, very excited about. I used to put Tim, into my stereo in college and write for hours. Still, I've got to be honest with you: this isn't about Paul Westerberg so much as it's about another recipe. I know. But that's all I've got right now, and this totally justifies my recent need to Instagram everything I cook. So.

Part of transitioning to a vegan lifestyle is bidding adieu to quite a few delicious things that just don't make the cut anymore. If you're shifting your eating habits for purely or predominately ethical reasons, this is probably less difficult than if you're someone like me who's just looking for the right way to start making better life choices after realizing that still eating the last piece of cake even though you'd just dropped it on the floor was actually a rock bottom moment (not a hypothetical example so much as a thing I actually did six years ago - like I said here, impulse control).

We can all agree that not being able to eat a thing that is awesome sucks. As such, in this world of food allergies and alternative lifestyles, all sorts of enterprising folks have devised a number of, "replacements," for the things that we have to/chose to give up.

Now, I have no illusions about any of these substitutes being, "just like the real thing." Bacon is bacon, crispy tempeh strips are crispy tempeh strips. While they can serve the same purpose in a meal, they are not the same thing and never will be. Once you accept this, you will live a happier life of realistic expectations where you can enjoy things for what they are and not what you wish they were. I know. Next, I'll be posting about how to achieve world peace.

So please know, in your heart of hearts, that when you read and/or execute this recipe I'm about to share for raw, vegan, "Nutella," you will not be getting Nutella. In fact, the only reasons I'm attaching that brand to it are, A) that's how the original source labeled it, and B) it provides some context for how to use it. Do not prepare your senses for an experience they are not about to have.

I was given this recipe by a friend who found it on the Holistic Dad Facebook page. The guy who runs it is listed as a, "Wellness Coach, actor, blogger, and proud dad," all of which sounds lovely, but I feel it's responsible to mention that I know neither him nor his background. As always, I encourage you to make your own informed choices about what you put into your body and how it may or may not benefit you, etc., end of disclaimer.

Raw, Vegan, Not-Really-Nutella
Let me be real: this is one that I'm still working on improving - the original recipe is very basic and a little broad when it comes to consistency. However, after a few attempts with varying degrees of success, I've gotten it to a place where I can share.

Additionally, it is actually quite crucial that you DO NOT soak your nuts (please stifle your giggles) before you grind them. As a result, that step will be very hard on your food processor or blender, particularly if it's not designed for making things like nut butters, which is essentially what you're doing. I'm in the process of upgrading some of my appliances, and my poor wee Cuisinart for sure overheated...a couple times. Exercise caution.

Ingredients
1 cup raw hazelnuts
2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
3 Tbsp. raw cacao powder
4 Tbsp. maple syrup
1/8 tsp. salt
1 Tbsp. coconut oil
1/2 cup almond milk

Note: A little cacao goes a long way. The 3 Tbsp. that the recipe calls for is not overwhelming, but adjust the levels according to your personal preferences on your next batch, if you feel the need.

Place hazelnuts in a food processor or high speed blender, and blend until they form a paste or hit a, "buttery," consistency. This takes some patience. At first, you'll have nothing but dust. Keep going, stopping every so often to scrape down the sides if you need to. Add the coconut oil, blend until incorporated. Add the remaining ingredients, blend until you achieve the desired level of smoothness.

Your mixture might be a little bit soupy. After it's been refrigerated for a few hours, it should firm up - the coconut oil will help you in this regard - and leave you with a consistency that is somewhere between really creamy peanut butter and mousse.


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