On HIV

Hey, pals.

Another November post. I know. What's next, lakes of fire?

Don't worry. The world isn't ending - despite how jacked up things are right now, which is putting it lightly - and this is just going to be a short one.

But first, a note: aside from my passing reference above, I'm not going to be discussing the attacks in Paris or anywhere else - at least not in digital space. On a practical level, I have nothing to add to the already exhaustive and largely irresponsible news cycle. On a personal level, that news cycle is damaging to me. Self-care right now means keeping myself at a distance, keeping the world in my heart and mind, and holding the people in my life a little closer. Please don't mistake my silence for apathy.

I will just say this: there's a difference between acting in self-defense and reacting out of fear.

Anyway.

The other thing pulling media attention at the moment is Charlie Sheen's disclosure that he is HIV positive. We're not going to talk about Charlie Sheen - I don't know him. But his announcement has put HIV back in the news and has exposed the fact that there is still a stunning lack of education about and understanding of the virus. And again, I never know who's reading this and who isn't, but because this is something that matters to me - and because I hate that it's so easy to spread misinformation via clickbait and sensationalism - I wanted to do something.

So here are some quick bullets to get you started on a larger journey.

1) HIV is not AIDS.

HIV and AIDS are often mentioned in the same breath, but they are not the same thing. You'd be surprised at how many people - reporters included - do not know this. One can be HIV positive without contracting AIDS (not vice versa, though). They are two different things and should be discussed as such.

2) Both HIV and AIDS are incurable.

This is where language can be the most confusing/misleading for laypeople. Treatment for HIV and AIDS has come a long, long way since the 80's and 90's when infection was essentially an instant death sentence. HIV regimens and antiretroviral therapies have increased lifespans and reduced the possibility of transmitting infection so, so dramatically. However, do not mistake the term, "undetectable viral load," for, "cure." As of right now, there is no cure. That's why knowing your status, getting treated, and staying on that treatment is so important.

3) Many people do not know their HIV status.

This bullet point (this whole post, really) is not meant to scare or shame anyone. If anything, it's meant to highlight one of the worst side effects of a lack of education about HIV. Once the most immediate threat passed, getting tested stopped being a priority for a lot of people. Knowing the status of a partner stopped being as much of a priority.

Here's the thing: if you're going to have sex with someone, you should know their status and yours. Have that conversation. Even more so if you're having unprotected sex. Get tested. Get tested again if and when you have sex with a new partner. Get tested again if and when your partner has sex with a new partner. Tons of places provide free access to quick tests now, and early detection could 100% save your life and possibly someone else's.

4) There is no way to 100% guarantee you will not transmit HIV.

This sort of goes hand-in-hand with, "undetectable viral load," not being the same thing as, "cure." The terms, "virtually impossible," and, "impossible," are also very, very different.

Now, you may be thinking, "Duh," and wanting to punch me in the face, but I'm not trying to condescend. I'm trying to remind.

I'm also not trying to say don't have sex. Just have communicative sex - the chance, however minuscule, that you could transmit infection means that it is always your responsibility to disclose your status to any partner if you are positive. I don't mean to suggest that this is an inherently easy thing to do when there's an actual cargo ship of absolutely unfair stigma still attached, but not doing so robs your partner of informed consent.

5) HIV doesn't discriminate. Don't be an ass about it.

Some subgroups of society have higher infection rates than others. Great stat.

Here's the thing: to say that somebody, "asked for," infection or, "deserves it," because they're LGBT or promiscuous or used drugs or had unprotected sex or felt too uncomfortable to ask about a partner's status or just straight up didn't think is a 100% dick move. Shit happens to the careless. Shit happens to the careful. We're all people, and thus we're all deserving of compassion, love, respect, and a recognition of dignity. Nothing changes that.

Continue to get yourself informed by people way more pro-status than I am. I recommend the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, but no matter what, just make sure you're engaging with a reputable source.

See ya in December (for real this time)!